Private Speech

Years ago, while directing a play in Seattle, David was so frustrated that he rushed into the street and let loose an angry tirade to no one in particular. He was right at home with the other eccentrics and personality disorder sufferers. But when he returned to the theatre, he was civil and focused, and the rehearsal went well.

Many of us were taught that talking to ourselves was counter-productive, or bordered on madness. Current psychological experiments show that private speech actually improves our performance on a range of tasks. What’s most effective is to address ourselves in the second person. Calling yourself “you” provides valuable perspective on your actions.

Tennis player Andy Murray gave himself a pep talk in front of a mirror and won the 2012 U.S. Open. Gymnast Laurie Hernandez told herself “I got this!” in Rio. Before hitting the self-motivation switch, a number of Olympians talk themselves through each step of their event. In fact, one of the keys to human creativity is unlocked in this back and forth dialogue. Whenever the task is difficult and the conditions stressful, discuss the game with yourself, and then encourage yourself to win. “Can I do this? Of course you can!”

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My new book, Out Front: How Women Can Become Engaging, Memorable and Fearless Speakers, is available via pre-order. You can order your copy here.